Reality is something the human race doesn’t handle very well. (Gore Vidal)
Well… I guess I shall return to the disturbing story of Gene Hackman, because there is something more to be said (and hopefully learned). I see that the social media and the news websites are very concerned with the virus that killed his wife and there is, I suppose, ample appetite for gossip – given the rarity of the virus and the excitement generated by the novelty – but I would focus on something else: how ‘he’ died. The man had Alzheimer’s dementia in a rather advanced stage, so it was his wife who was looking after him. When she died, he was left unattended. It appears that he died of natural causes, about one week after his wife. Dying of hunger and because he couldn’t take his medication would qualify as natural causes of death, I suppose…
Now, it is perhaps useful to contrast the findings of the autopsy with the words of his daughter: “We were close. I hadn’t talked to them for a couple of months, but everything was normal and everything was good.”
How “close” can you be when you don’t know that your father is dying?! Not even a phone call so as to see if everything is all right with him?!
How was everything “normal” and “good” when you knew that your father had Alzheimer’, he needed care (perhaps several caretakers), and he was relying uniquely on his wife, who wasn’t quite in her prime?!
And perhaps, more disturbing for me: How on Earth nobody visited the couple for several weeks?! Can you imagine the solitude? Can you imagine how deeply alone was that couple? The man had 3 (three) children, not one…
On one hand, you have the daughter’s statement. On the other hand, you have the cold and objective facts. What would you choose to see as real?
Yes, hypocrisy (bordering on cynicism) and neglect (abandonment) are involved, but conveniently, nobody in the news dares to speak up, because it is detrimental “to be negative” and undesirable “to blame the poor daughter who just lost her father”. Actually, it depends on how you focus the attention of the public, and making justice for a neglected old man in his 90s is less important compared to the suffering of a grief-stricken family (undoubtedly… not) or the novelty generated by “another odd virus” (oh, dear!).
Why I tell you all this?…
I see that the reality around me is increasingly sliding into irrationality and confusion. And I don’t want you to become a victim of collective hysterias… or take off in a socially-induced psychotic state. And one effective solution (or tool) for fighting confusion is the following mental attitude:
Believe only what you see! Stick to the facts! Disregard, internally (that is, in your own mind) what people say, their words! Focus instead on the reality of a situation: is it true or not? Like, is it true… right now!
A lot of people make promises: they will do this, they will do that. Ask yourself: are they really doing what they’re saying? Yes or no?
A lot of people make statements: they are going to do this or do that. Do some follow-ups! Are they actually doing what they’re saying? Have they already started to move into the direction of their words? Yes or no?
You can apply this in many domains: relationships, society, political affairs… You can even apply this to yourself…
By the way, where are you with your New Year’s resolutions? I am particularly interested in that part about losing weight.