Some of us do not need to see so as to know.
As the night falls and the sounds of the day get dimmer, I switch off the lights and I close my eyes. And I listen to the sound of the environment where I live. Blinding oneself is a way to expand the other senses, particularly the hearing. Since after a number of years we begin to see our own perceptions and preconceived opinions about reality – and not the genuine reality lying in front of us – it is always a good idea to give up the known and the certitudes emerging from our vision. Therefore, voluntarily blind, I listen…
Have you noticed that people scream lately? Have you noticed the noise?
People shout. People talk to their phones while having the hands-free activated, often keeping the phone in front of them despite not having a video call. People want to hear but they also want to be heard. And they want to be seen while hearing and talking, and oddly keeping their phone in the air, in plain sight, probably makes them visible for others, as they attract attention. They want to prove they exist and existence makes noise… A lot of noise… It doesn’t matter if they are on the street or in their apartments. They shout. They yell. They complain. They giggle. And they can be heard across walls, no matter the thickness of those walls…
People walk in their houses hitting as strongly as possible the ground, as if beating a drum. The women hit it harder with their high-heels – it’s a proof of confidence, of superior attitude. It’s a proof of self-sufficiency, of independence, of knowing who they are. Ultimately, it’s a proof of pride, a charisma – a toreador defying an invisible bull… It is also an acoustic sign that they don’t own carpets, either because the cleaning is easier without them, or because they don’t have enough money to buy something soft under their feet… Yes, it’s a sign of modernity not to have a dust-keeping floor-covering of some sort… but it may also give the impression of an unfinished living space, always lacking in comfort and in discreetness…
People laugh. Their laugh is loud, strident, forced. It is more a signal of reverence versus the heavy-handed authority or the sponsoring sugar-daddy, a desire to fit in the social group… and less an authentic release of the fullness of joy or perhaps tension. People laugh with their mouth full… and some laugh stupidly, having a dumb face I cannot see but envision. Some are drunk or high on cheap drugs. And others laugh – especially the women – so as to tame the moody alpha-male, who is currently drunk and aroused… and in for an ambiguously-consensual sexual intercourse.
People listen to music. A music which lacks elaborated verse, relying on semi-tribal rhythm, repetition and vulgarity. A music about sex and the precariousness of life, about injustice, betrayal and the forever-elusive money. About tight horizons. About low expectations. About the smallness of life…
People can’t walk normally. They descent the stairs jumping groups of 3 or 4 stairs at once. They lack patience and constancy, they lack the inner discipline of stepping on each stair when going down them. Life is fast, too fast; they run down on the stairs as if they are in a perpetual emergency, eager to arrive at some destination. On the contrary, they climb the stairs with a lot of effort, with slow & bloating breath and heavy steps, hitting each stair with a considerable loathing of climbing. It appears to be an ordeal to climb, a futile effort, a senseless torment. While listening to the heavy breathing of the ones climbing the stairs one can infer a certain frustration: Why the harder part of life must exist at all and why can’t everything be exclusively easy?!
One can learn by listening, by being aware of one’s surroundings. One can portray the others only by observation, by the noises they make, by the auditory fingerprint they leave in the world. One does not need to see so as to know…
There is a quiet desperation around me, a subtle yet profound fear of silence which, by the way, equals death. To be alive is to make noise. To cry, to scream, to beat and be beaten. To speak loudly and listen to the loud phone or the roaring music. To smash the furniture or just the stairs, both when going up or down. To laugh at all times and on all occasions: either when being cheated, or drunk, or horny, or molested…